Pull My Gopher Daddy

me me me i i i well, i'll just talk about me some more i never really felt comfortable in life like, elementary school, there was this kid one time that kicked me maybe i was being annoying i was probably being annoying and i was on the ground and he kicked me in the stomach i think don't really remember but i do remember biting him lol i bit his leg so hard..and the teacher, she got mad at both of us i tried to explain that he kicked me and i had to do something, but she wasn't having it well, in your 5k did your school have some clever way of keeping track of your bad behavior? my school, each grade up to probably 4th grade had a similar method of keeping track of bad behavior my 5k had these little pockets with our names written on them on the wall each pocket had three cutouts of a gopher (a later grade i remember had three french fries in the pocket for every student) well she made me pull all my gophers for biting this kid which meant i got in trouble that really pissed me off so one day i stole everyone's gophers so teacher bitch couldn't make me pull mine and i brought them home and hid them in the closet a week later they sent a letter home to all the parents saying someone had stolen all the gophers i denied it, naturally i'm sure they suspected me LOL my mom found them a year later in that closet but since then i always felt out of place i don't know why really trying to work through these feelings i remember too one time i stole a magnet from a store i really wanted i don't know why stealing was my anthem for most of my life i think it felt like i was making things right again i think the gophers taught me that i can control the outcome or at least cause the system stress by stealing i dk 2nd grade i was held back for "not being able to read at the level" i needed to but i know it's because i was being bullied in school and acting up being the class clown they said i had ADHD my mom said fuck off with that but it was something no doubt i got something no doubt but this feeling of being out of place of not belonging it's followed me everywhere i've never felt like i should be here like everyone else gets this life thing a little better than me im slow it takes me longer to catch on to all of this im the wrong the wrong disposition the wrong gender the wrong thoughts the wrong outlook the wrong processor do you feel like that too? even a little bit? im still that kid nothing has changed except i do drugs now life is about finding the right drugs i think alcohol though, not for me fam